Lesson Plan Joker Pillows

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"Gee, I never saw that coming."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

E=Emcee Squared

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Long-legged clown...

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"An apple? Doesn't he have any pizza?"

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'The test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap.'

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

"I'm not finished exercising. I still have a couple of laps to go."

'Backseat driver...'

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."

'You see! I told you there was a school right beneath us!'

Final Exams Today

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

Do I get extra credit for neatness?