Eco-friendly Joker Pillows

"The loft extension has melted."

'I'm helping to 'Save the Planet'... doing 'my-bit' for energy conservation!'

STOP GLOBAL WARMING!, 'Let's call it a day before we get frostbite.'

'If global warming means less migrating, I'm all for it.'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Crisis Buzz.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Person made from 100% recycled materials.

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

'... so I decided to make us all fabulous new outfits from the Guardian environment supplement!'

Jim's Smart Kettle

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."

'This should shake things up -- I've just found conclusive evidence that global warming is caused by whales!'

Thanks to a generous grant from the oil companies, scientists discover the real reason glaciers are melting.

"I don't know who hid it there but that one's got your name all over it."

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

A child plots to frighten his father with a fake shark fin.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

The nuclear power plant didn't doom the Snail Darter as feared.

Football crazy

"I don't need roughage that badly!"

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

"Look! Now they offer healthy choices we can glance at before ordering our usual junk."

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'