Environmentally Conscious Joker Pillows

Doing our bit to save the planet.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Crisis Buzz.

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

Jim's Smart Kettle

"I brought chips and cookies to snack on and baby carrots to sit unopened on the blanket."

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

The nuclear power plant didn't doom the Snail Darter as feared.

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

Football crazy

"I don't need roughage that badly!"

"Look! Now they offer healthy choices we can glance at before ordering our usual junk."

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

"As part of our environmental policy we burn compliance to heat the system."

State of the State.

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

"Processed food was his undoing. He was eating a salad sandwich in the warehouse, when a pallet of pork pies fell on him!"

"Wine and women are off but can sing as much as you like!"

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

This Junk Mail made from 75% Recycled Other Junk Mail.

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

birthday meets reality

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."