Board Game Joker Pillows

"How about instead of another stupid Monday lunch we go to my place, crank up Terry Gross, and play Twister naked?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'How about a game of cards?'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Get crazy once in a while

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"Nope, not what livestream means, Bob."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Follow me on Twitter...

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Sorry we don't do black decaf.'

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Toilet humour

Adult Absence Notes.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'Lion!'