Leisurely Laborer Gifts

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"I AM at my usual position."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Life after death"

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

"We should get out to the country more often."

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

"Yipeee!"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

Reserved Parking

"I'd rather be at the office."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Anglers' shop notice - Gone for a bite.

'It may be goofing off to you, but to me it's biding my time.'

"Just in case I'm in danger of doing something. . . I'm going to take a cat nap."

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"Willy here will be our guide, and according to him, this short walk should take about three months..."

"This is the software for my head."

"We've been out surveying too long."

Walking a tortoise. 'The doctor told me to take it easy.'

Come in here if you don't like....

Lunch.

Lethargics Anonymous - In, Out and Pending Trays.

New Season on the TV / New Season on the sofa

The other 364 days of the year.

"I used to run also, but I was happy I could turn a hobby into a career!"

"Fishing and doing nothing are not incompatible."

"He usually works from home."

The Club Singles Duel.