Leisurely Laborer Pillows

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"I AM at my usual position."

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Life after death"

"We should get out to the country more often."

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"Yipeee!"

'My husband likes to have everything handy during TV commercials.'

Reserved Parking

"I'd rather be at the office."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

'It may be goofing off to you, but to me it's biding my time.'

"Twenty years ago when I started planning my retirement I had no idea how big my bar bill would be."

"Just in case I'm in danger of doing something. . . I'm going to take a cat nap."

Anglers' shop notice - Gone for a bite.

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"Willy here will be our guide, and according to him, this short walk should take about three months..."

"This is the software for my head."

Lunch.

Lethargics Anonymous - In, Out and Pending Trays.

Come in here if you don't like....

Walking a tortoise. 'The doctor told me to take it easy.'

New Season on the TV / New Season on the sofa

"I used to run also, but I was happy I could turn a hobby into a career!"

The Club Singles Duel.

The other 364 days of the year.

"Fishing and doing nothing are not incompatible."

"He usually works from home."

Man fishing with rod with multiple lines.