Lazy Laborer Gifts

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'I'll set snooze for an extra month.'

'Hey, there are pedals on this thing!'

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

Pyjamas - Party, Sleep and Dawn Raid.

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

Man with cat on the end of fishing rod, catching fish.

'Sure, they have nine lives, but they spend eight of them asleep.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

"You never had to learn to relax, did you, Walter?...It just came natural"

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

Time Clock