Lazy Engineer Gifts

Snooker Channel.

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

Building Blocks.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"I've always wanted to live on a lake so I can go boating and fishing. Since we don't live on a lake, I thought I'd make my own."

"Now we know who'll be taking care of us in our old age."

'I see the TV has broken down again .'

"Isn't technology great? A drone dog walker."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Since it's cold outside, I thought it was only logical that I build my snow fort inside. The laws of science disagree."

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

'... So one day I thought, hey, why walk all the way out to the mound just to take a pitcher out of the game?'

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

'I'm thinking something a little more modest... say, whatever 1,000 slaves can do in 50 years.'

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'The living room shelves are coming along nicely dear.'

'This is exhausting, I quit.'

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

"Is this a creative nap or a nap nap?"

"Why do I have to go to school? Why can't I just log onto their website when I get up?"

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'

"Your snow fort may be bigger, but mine comes with all the technology of a smart home."

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

'Don't do today what you can leave for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week or until someone else does it for you.'