Lazy Productivity Aficionado Gifts

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Lazy Octopus

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

Catatonic

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

How the goat got square eyes.

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

The other digital divide.

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

"Slip some performance enhancing drug into the water. We need more production!"

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'