Productivity Aficionado Gifts

Dining Al-desko

"With today's technology, there are better ways to remind yourself to do things other than using sticky notes. It's getting annoying."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Motivation to work

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

The World's First Electronic Paperweight

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

Here's a new Blackberry with a special silent alarm that vibrates and delivers a small electrical shock. We call it the Gooseberry.

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

Working Environment

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'