Productivity Lover Gifts

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Motivation to work

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

The World's First Electronic Paperweight

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

Here's a new Blackberry with a special silent alarm that vibrates and delivers a small electrical shock. We call it the Gooseberry.

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

Working Environment

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'