Leisurely Multitasker Gifts

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Homeschooling

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

Piano eight hands.

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

Office worker has Swiss office knife.

"Day care worker's delight: Velcro diapers"

'Billy, I really don't think it's possible to do your homework and watch TV at the same time.'