Legislative Superstar Gifts

'Every time I vote to subsidize an industry, that bum votes to regulate it!'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"When I grow up, I want to become president and eventually the subject of a groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed Broadway musical."

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Who Let the Dawg In?

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."

'I've got it! - We'll call it the SUPERpatriot Act!'

You want my support for your reform bill, eh? — what's it worth to you?

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"Mr. Speaker, I would like to request an additional thirty seconds to approach my esteemed colleague from across the aisle and punch him the face."

"Here they call it Congress, but I like to think of it as my muse."

Al Baldasaro

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

'I'll be frank with you -- to adequately represent you in Congress, I have to be a crook.'

'It's got to be some kind of scam -- he has all his legislation copyrighted.'

Harris breaking glass ceiling

HillaryManifestMisogyny2016

'Gosh, I love government, Ed. Just when you begin to lose faith in the system, along comes a fresh crop of idealistic young lawmakers with an invigorating brand of gridlock all their own!'

'If you loan me five bucks for lunch, I'll co-sponsor that $80 billion appropriation bill of yours.'

"A statue was built in his honor because he actually delivered on his campaign promises."

CONGRESS, 'Take if from me, kid -- executive privilege is nothing compared to legislative privilege!'

"It seems legislation against airbourne Prosecco snatchers is still in the committee stage."

'Did you read the stimulus package bill?' - 'Nah - I decided to wait for the movie.'

'Now, where were we?...'

Brexit: Another Fab 4

Bureaucrats cooking up a new policy soup...

Kamala Harris inauguration caricature

"Actually lying doesn't come that easily to me. I have to work at it."