Lawmaker Gifts

'Gosh, I love government, Ed. Just when you begin to lose faith in the system, along comes a fresh crop of idealistic young lawmakers with an invigorating brand of gridlock all their own!'

Bureaucrats cooking up a new policy soup...

'I'll be frank with you -- to adequately represent you in Congress, I have to be a crook.'

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Shelia Kuehl Spot the Difference: Can you find the 5 differences between these 2 caricatures?

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

Recycling: Washington Lawmakers

Al Baldasaro

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

Gravestoon of R Floogle has laptop showing DVD's of his greatest filibusters.

News: New service aids in crossing the Commons floor.

"Actually lying doesn't come that easily to me. I have to work at it."

Next Mass Shooting. . . Any Minute.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

Arizona In Black

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Beware of the Legislation

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

Welcome to Washington, D.C.!

The Second Amendment - The Right of Not-TOO-Obviously Insane nut-jobs to keep and bear . . .

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

What comes after a trillion

'Some democrats and Republicans sat together at the state of the union.'

'I wouldn't put much faith into Senator Bludgeon's promise to immediately begin investigating the competition. After all, it takes 30 days just to make instant coffee in the Senate.'