Tax Legislator Gifts

'Of course this tax bill is more beneficial to the rich than to the poor. The poor don't pay taxes.'

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Beware of the Legislation

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

Welcome to Washington, D.C.!

The Second Amendment - The Right of Not-TOO-Obviously Insane nut-jobs to keep and bear . . .

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Gun Control Rally

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

'There's not much of an incentive after taxes.'

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

'I wouldn't put much faith into Senator Bludgeon's promise to immediately begin investigating the competition. After all, it takes 30 days just to make instant coffee in the Senate.'

What comes after a trillion

'Lobbyist for 'Big Sugar' is here to see you, congressman. . .'

Disraeli's Local Taxation Reform for Agricultural Interest

'Some democrats and Republicans sat together at the state of the union.'

"Let's give him a few minutes to grieve. His idea of taxing the air taxpayers breath was rejected."

'They'll tax it less than my 4X4.'

'This isn't an easy business- you have to stoop low and be high-handed at the same time.'

In Which the CEO Takes a Meeting with His Pet Senator

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

"I don't think we can take 10,000 lakes as collateral."

Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell.