Quirky Legislator Gifts

'Really? You're in here for THAT? - That was legalized YEARS ago!'

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'Home Schooling'

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

"He just doesn't know what to do with himself since he got elected to Congress."

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

"Drop it... Such things banished in our kingdom."

'Think Basics.'

'It's a simple rule of thumb -- if at first you don't succeed, blame the media!'

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."

Al Baldasaro

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

'I'll be frank with you -- to adequately represent you in Congress, I have to be a crook.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

'Every time I vote to subsidize an industry, that bum votes to regulate it!'

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'

"The Speaker of the House is such a gossip!"

'Gosh, I love government, Ed. Just when you begin to lose faith in the system, along comes a fresh crop of idealistic young lawmakers with an invigorating brand of gridlock all their own!'

'Then it's agreed. You give sun, water and carbon dioxide and in return, you get oxygen.'

'If you loan me five bucks for lunch, I'll co-sponsor that $80 billion appropriation bill of yours.'

A teacher sits in front of a blackboard that advertises various school subjects as being for sale.

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"I think he's running as an independent."

'Did you read the stimulus package bill?' - 'Nah - I decided to wait for the movie.'