Legislative Humorist Gifts

'Did you read the stimulus package bill?' - 'Nah - I decided to wait for the movie.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

They're Not Just That Into It

UK/US Free Trade Deal

No-Work Orange

Trump! The Musical

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

Spot the Difference - God/Uncle Sam

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, except for Hancock... who smells bad...'

Uncle Donnie

John F. Kennedy

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"Beware of Don"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'