Witty Legislator Gifts

'When you flippantly asked them to honour your August holiday arrangements they flippantly honoured August 2022.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

Call Your Office

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

CONGRESS, 'You know, we wouldn't need a pay hike if we got commissions on our appropriations.'

Do you believe in money at first sight?

'I just had the greatest idea! -- Let's deregulate ourselves!'

Leonard L. Lipchitz: Sending the Law since 1972

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

People want as much government as they deserve.

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'

Looking for a way to have their cake and eat it too.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"Mr. Speaker, I would like to request an additional thirty seconds to approach my esteemed colleague from across the aisle and punch him the face."

"Once you get past the divine right of kings, I'm not much into theology."

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

'Never mind dear, at least you cut him with your razor sharp wit.'

"Back when we were in college, and occasionally sleeping together, I never thought I'd be here, toasting you at your wedding to a woman."

'Without a pay raise, it's impossible to attract good people to government -- why, just look at me!'

"Let's celebrate Friday! Show me again how good my numbers are compared to Congress!"

"There's definitely less interference from the new speaker."

GPs press for sick note reform

"Thanks, but no thanks -- Valentines just lead to the hard stuff."

'I think I've solved my drinking problem.'

'If you loan me five bucks for lunch, I'll co-sponsor that $80 billion appropriation bill of yours.'

'I'm just reaching my sexual innuendo peak.'

'Wait a minute! How do I know this won't add to the budget deficit?'

Superiority of Cats.