Legal Shows Gifts

Crucial testimony in the case of Cinderella vs. the Association of Fairy Godmothers.

'I picked it all up from daytime TV.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Succession 2

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

He loves the water.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Franz Kafka does stand-up...

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"