Legal Show Enthusiast Gifts

'Your Honor, my client was driven to commit the crime by subliminal messages on the Lawrence Welk Show.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Lady Justice.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Baby's first words.