Law Show Aficionado Gifts

"I get all my life-critical data from TV."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Violent Crime Statistics

He loves the water.

Lady Justice.

Pre-Minstrel Tension

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."