Legal Show Enthusiast Pillows

'Your Honor, my client was driven to commit the crime by subliminal messages on the Lawrence Welk Show.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Wal-Mart Ruling

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Violent Crime Statistics

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'