Watching Legal Shows Pillows

"Two different guys stole my identity, and they're suing each other to see who keeps it."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Not guilty?"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

Mobster Dogs Burying Bones

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Esq.

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'How do you expect me to concentrate when you're reading me my rights?'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'