Legal Shows T-Shirts

Crucial testimony in the case of Cinderella vs. the Association of Fairy Godmothers.

'I picked it all up from daytime TV.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Succession 2

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Investigation

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

"The boss says after this you're gonna have to start flossing for yourself."

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

Safe cracker opens large safe to find smaller safes inside.

"What part of ‘secure the crime scene’ don’t you understand?!!"