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'Your Honor, my client is willing to plead guilty, but only if the trial is televised.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Astral Projection

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Not guilty?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Clive Anderson

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Gillian Leigh Anderson

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"The X files...the tooth is out there"

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."