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'Your Honor, my client is willing to plead guilty, but only if the trial is televised.'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Not guilty?"

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"The X files...the tooth is out there"

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"Yeah, I'm out on bail: The judge laughed when he said I was not a flight risk..."