Legal Protection Gifts

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"Bailiff."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"They're class action figures."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."