Seeking Legal Protection Gifts

Protection of battered women

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Fleeing Kabul

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

"First, admit no harm."

'Nice, but let's call them the 'Bill of Rights' instead of the 'Bill of Loopholes'.'

'Remember, there's nothing to fear, except fear itself and costly litigation.'

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

Marriage & Divorce.

'I've done some of my best work pro bono ... darn it?'

'The food's not too bad here. It tastes just like yours and just like yours, it also comes out of a can.'

Hands off my IP

"Give it all you got is the motto of my wife's divorce attorney."

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

'Remember to stay downwind from him, he can smell fear.'

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

"It's legal – but not entirely."

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

'Here's where we went wrong - you applied for chapter 11, but you only qualify for chapter 6!'

'I like the fact you're innocent, but it would be even better if you were a celebrity.'

So...who is your provider ?

'Never put off what you can do today, there may be a law against it tomorrow.'