Seeking Legal Advice Gifts

Little girl tired of being teased for her freckles.

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"You don't have to answer that."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"To be honest, I'm not sure if you marking your territory is legally binding in a boundary claim dispute."

'Let's run it through legal.'

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"I hit him with a restraining odor and that was that."