Seeking Advice Gifts

Greed

'I did what you advised, then my wife did what your colleague advised!'

'I've been banned from a singles club.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"Let's just say the value of your account has gone from jumbo to fun size."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

"Yes,I'm fully qualified,yes,I'm single,yes.I'm busy after work..."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

"I feel like he doesn't respect me."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

A Bug's Life Advice

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.