Legal Irony Fan Gifts

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

Trial by Media

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"We make crime pay."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"At least he's honest about it..."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Antonin Scalia

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'Let's agree to disagree.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

The annual running of the lawyers.

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'