Legal Irony Fan Pillows

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

Trial by Media

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Antonin Scalia

'That's the lawyer in me trying to get out.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

The annual running of the lawyers.

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"