Legal Irony Lover Pillows

'What we'll do is rub some insurance money on it and see what happens.'

'Your wife sends her best wishes.'

"I don't know why but I kind of feel guilty about my innocent verdict."

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Baby's first words.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'