Legal Irony Lover Gifts

'What we'll do is rub some insurance money on it and see what happens.'

'Your wife sends her best wishes.'

"I don't know why but I kind of feel guilty about my innocent verdict."

Trial by Media

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Baby's first words.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'