Legal Hobbyist Gifts

Witness recounting a prisoner's statement

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Wal-Mart Ruling

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel examining witness

"Gentlemen, I'm afraid things are worse than we thought."

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Trump Indicted

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

Casual skydiving.

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

“Don’t underestimate his lawyers. They went to Harvard.”

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'