Legal Hobbyist Gifts

Witness recounting a prisoner's statement

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Wal-Mart Ruling

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

'Well, at least it has bubbles.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel examining witness

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"Gentlemen, I'm afraid things are worse than we thought."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Trump Indicted

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'Mr. Barnes has been riding his motorcycle, so he's a little behind on his paperwork. If you'll take a seat, he should be with you in a few hours.'

Casual skydiving.

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'

'I need to see your restraining order.'

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'