Legal Arts Gifts

"Mr. Boyd, are you charged with stealing from Bob's bakery. How do you plead?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

I love Lawyers

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Changing Minds

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Roe v. Wade

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

Truth

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Wal-Mart Ruling

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Bailiff."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

Planet of the Lawyers