Legal Affairs Gifts

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'Your hindsight on this case, was far more accurate than his forsight.'

'I swear to tell the truth,the whole truth,and nothing but the truth, from my perspective.'

'Your mum and I are thinking about giving your power of attorney...' - 'Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm rich! Rich!' - '...and now, strangely, I'm having second thoughts.'

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

"It equals out. I pay alimony to Laurie and Denise, and I get alimony from Brenda and Suzanne."

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Just the usual bills. Business rates,electricity, phone...unfair dismissal claims.'

Judge having junior barristers removed from court for drawing

"Thank you, Nathaniel. I think you, too, are a very scary young lawyer."

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

Yomp & Jones...attorneys: 'Mr Jones wants me to inform you that he is representing your wife in her divorce.'

'In a complex court settlement, our parent company gets custody of us on the weekends.'

"Refresh my memory: Are you my lawyer or my lawyer's lawyer?"

"Either we change the name order or one of us has to go."

"I just love that new class action lawsuit smell."

"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."

"If you'd like I could throw a few criminals your way."

"I'm denying your motion to delay until your client is elected and can legally have me and my family assassinated."

'There is no million dollar inheritance. We just put out that notice to locate the missing heirs.'

"Gentlemen, you want the truth? YOU'RE DENIABILITY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

"We're done here. I'm advising my client not to answer anymore questions."

"My late husband willed his brain to science. Trouble is science is contesting the will."

'Begging works... But I've found the threat of legal action even more effective.'

J. Flanagan - Attorney. 'Say it with a lawysuit'.

'But, what if we look back on this as the Golden Age of Litigation?'

Acme Law Firm, All You can Litigate -- $5000.

"But I might get attacked by someone on a tagging order."

'Tell the press the lawyers are working on an out of court settlement.'

'Your father didn't exactly leave his brain to science. He left it to his psychiatrist to settle an outstanding bill.'

Novak Djokovic Deported from Australia

Robert Menendez investigated for corruption

"You want to sue the IRS for giving you math phobia? - I LOVE it!"

"You've got any models large enough to...uh...theoretically hold a 250 lb prosecuting attorney and a couple of lying witnesses?"

"What makes you think I'm the whistleblower?"