Leek Enthusiast Gifts

Welsh Baby

Where Indian ink came from.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

Penny

Rap-scallions

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Shakespeare in the clink

'I ink, therefore I am....'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Lemon centerpieces: $50 each

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Printers

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

Young woman shows off her tattoos.

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

The Coffee Tattoo

French suppers.

'The Pen Is Mightier...Still.'

Trees tattoo

Hydroponic Gardening

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'