Lyrical Leek Lover Gifts

Rap-scallions

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Archimedes statue with a lever

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Senta jumps into the sea

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

Bashful in Nashville

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Karaoke night.

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

George Martin

Jerry Lordan

Musical genres

'My love is like a red red rose...'

'I changed my status from LLC to LL Cool C.'

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"Hey, Dad, I've been working on a song for our family band!"

Nick Cave

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

Keyboard player

Poetry Reading. Physics Lecture. Which'll it be -- rhyme or reason?

Christine McVie