Lyrical Leek Lover T-Shirts

Rap-scallions

Archimedes statue with a lever

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Senta jumps into the sea

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Bashful in Nashville

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Jerry Lordan

'My love is like a red red rose...'

Musical genres

'I changed my status from LLC to LL Cool C.'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

"Hey, Dad, I've been working on a song for our family band!"

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

Keyboard player

Christine McVie

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"