Leak Detector Gifts

'No, you're the plumber, you go and check how bad the leak is.'

Turtle Hat

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Lazy plumber.

Sportswasher's

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

"We need to discuss your expense account."

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'I detect you scanning my cards!'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

Master Plumber

'It's time that ball-kicking cheater got his. Tell mommy that daddy loves her, Ritchie... Here I go...'

"He's lying! Just like all men! Oh God, mother was right, I'm never getting married, am I?"

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

Detectorist meteorite.

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

"First of all, let's find out who blew the whistle on us."

Personnel Screening. Do you have any objection to taking a lie detector test? Is my answer part of the test?

"We're in for a real treat tonight. Freddy's preparing his blackened swordfish."

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

'Quit trying to steal my intellectual property.'

'Homeland security! That sign has 'threat' written all over it!'

"How about one of those sunny old grandpas who make things look honest?"

"Call it intuition or whatever, but I can't help thinking you may not be telling the truth."

"You may be interested to know that least one of your classmates was concerned enough about his grades to leave an envelope of cash on my desk yesterday afternoon."

"This is the best water main break ever."

Man lighting up in offices of ASH, saying 'Do you mind if I smoke?'

Wine Competition. This vintage was awarded first prize for it superior bouquet. It won by a nose!

Trusty Shoe Repairs.