Leak Specialist Gifts

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Lazy plumber.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing

Swimming Champion.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

It says he invented super glue.

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

'I thought if I tried diving, I wouldn't mind a bath so much!'

Master Plumber

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

"I really really have to pee."

Dive in...

'No, you're the plumber, you go and check how bad the leak is.'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

A bureaucrat works under fear of punishment.

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

'For $10.95 can I interest you in our deluxe wash and wax?'

"I've had some reports of pilfering from the office, have you noticed anything?"

Wikileaks: My Empire for a Plumber

Anchor holding house 'Damp, what damp?'

"This is the best water main break ever."

Diver on the high dive board with floaties on each arm,

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.