Fixer Of Leaks Gifts

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Lazy plumber.

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Cyber disease.

"Kick the machine"

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

Master Plumber

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

I hate it when they start without us.

"I had to improvise"

"Hi, I'm your new neighbour. I work as a maintenance engineer on the Thames Flood Barrier."

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

Woman in desperate need of a plumber.

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 3

Man bangs on a malfunctioning bathroom mirror to get his reflection to show.

'You're not gonna like this-all the plumbers are at their annual convention-in the Bahamas!!'

'Can Dad fix whatever this was?'

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."

Lotion-bottle manufacturer's meeting