Leak Specialist Pillows

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Lazy plumber.

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

Swimming Champion.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"My boss says I'm very good at what I do."

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

Master Plumber

'I thought if I tried diving, I wouldn't mind a bath so much!'

'Damn. The dark is leaking out of the dark room again.'

Dive in...

"I really really have to pee."

'No, you're the plumber, you go and check how bad the leak is.'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

A bureaucrat works under fear of punishment.

'OK Smith, you can take this back to the Woodwork room now!'

Anchor holding house 'Damp, what damp?'

"This is the best water main break ever."

"I've had some reports of pilfering from the office, have you noticed anything?"

Diver on the high dive board with floaties on each arm,

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.

Trusty Shoe Repairs.