Spill Expert Pillows

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Pull the udder one

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Swimming Champion.

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'We spoil that dog.'

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

'I need something to spill.'

"Oh no!"

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Algebra Research Center: Come In We're Slopin'

A Vet? I had you picked in advertising.

'I thought if I tried diving, I wouldn't mind a bath so much!'

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

"The black flies go away when the mosquitoes show up."

Dive in...

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

"I don't think the new guy is built for this kind of work, do you?"

"Don't worry, I have another savings for your treats."