Leak Detective Pillows

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

"There's that squeak again."

Fire at the Bisto Factory

"Move along, people, there's nothing to see here."

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

'Really, Frank... The late news is so depressing - and it's the same thing every night... Why do you even turn it on?'

'No, you're the plumber, you go and check how bad the leak is.'

'You're close to becoming the indispensable man, Grisnill---You keep finding loopholes'

'After I found out he was a cop, he just stopped calling. Too bad. I thought this time it might lead to something - other than an arrest.'

The Ocean's Plug

Passenger on a train blaming a clerical man for smoking

A plain clothes fairy

"Stay focused, man. We're on a search for Big Foot."

Wife Surveillance

"He's like Tiger Woods before his comeback."

"Officers McWit and Fenton, didn't the chief tell you this was a plain clothes operation?"

'As I see it, we have three options: be part of the problem, part of the cover up, or part of the wikileakers.'

May Devouring Corbyn

Washington Do's and Don'ts - Some things shouldn't be said while people are dining.

Non-Drip Paint

"I protected a source."