Squeak Detective Pillows

"There's that squeak again."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

'So who needs sonar?!'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"What's all this?"

'This duck call works too well.'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

Wanted dog! reward!

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

He Did It!

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

Again, that's yours.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."