Squeaker Detective Pillows

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

"Psst. . . fancy shoe sales are down. Can you make Crocs instead?"

"Greatest Band?"

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

"There's that squeak again."

I didn't know there were so many gardeners. They aren't gardeners. Flower Show. He is. She isn't. She is. How can you tell? Look at their feet!

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

Squeaker Trophies

"Jeff! Have you been sleepwalking again?!"

'He used to be happy just gradually appearing out of a basket.'

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

"Where'd you find it, dad?"

"Seriously, you don't know how to float?"

'He did not bite you! Those are just teeth marks.'

'I want some shoes that squeak.'

"I won't be needed a new laptop as stated in my email. I've found one on top of my Mum's wardrobe."

'Hey, where's my dog?'

"And now, our motivational squeaker."

"I think they are aliens sent here to eradicate all of us!"

Rusty's Secret Stash

"You're not getting anything out of me unless you pinch really hard with your thumb and forefinger, then pull."