Squeaker Detective Pillows

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

"I don't use straws anymore. Straws are bad for the environment."

I can carry all the plastic bags I need!

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

"Greatest Band?"

'You've been hanging out at the bowling alley again, haven't you?'

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

"There's that squeak again."

Squeaker Trophies

"Jeff! Have you been sleepwalking again?!"

'He used to be happy just gradually appearing out of a basket.'

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

'I want some shoes that squeak.'

'He did not bite you! Those are just teeth marks.'

"Seriously, you don't know how to float?"

"I won't be needed a new laptop as stated in my email. I've found one on top of my Mum's wardrobe."

'Hey, where's my dog?'

"And now, our motivational squeaker."

Rusty's Secret Stash

"I think they are aliens sent here to eradicate all of us!"

"You're not getting anything out of me unless you pinch really hard with your thumb and forefinger, then pull."