Squeak Detective Gifts

"There's that squeak again."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'This duck call works too well.'

"What's all this?"

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

He Did It!

Wanted dog! reward!

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."