Squeaky Singer Gifts

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

'He's maturing early.'

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

"These door hinges squeak."

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

The Dancing Academy

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

"No-chance the rapper"

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

A cocktail in a tuba

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

"There's that squeak again."

Pollution Free Cocktail Cabinet

Alison Pill

Ventriloquists dummy

Parts of a Bagpipe

"Go on, breath in the helium from the balloon, you'll sound all squeaky like me..."