Squeaky Singer Gifts

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

Anna Calvi

'He's maturing early.'

Why can't you just chew the squeaker out like normal dogs?

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

"It's not so much the chewing that offends me, it's the mocking of our voices."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

The Dancing Academy

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

"These door hinges squeak."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

"You know, my unearthly moans are a lot less terrifying when you're chomping a squeaky toy."

Tom Mullica.

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

"No-chance the rapper"

A cocktail in a tuba

Adult Magician

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

"There's that squeak again."

Pollution Free Cocktail Cabinet

Alison Pill

"Go on, breath in the helium from the balloon, you'll sound all squeaky like me..."

Ventriloquists dummy