Drip Detective Pillows

Non-Drip Paint

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Unsafe Drain Covers!

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

'KEEPING UP in practice simply means knowing which drug the FDA has withdrawn.'

La Tour 2007.

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'The bad news is that you've got damp rot. The good news is - it's drowning your woodworm.'

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

'I'll do anything to find water in this drought.'

Gene doping in sport.

'He likes to point out the obvious.'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

Not only have we been laid off, but, being small, we can crawl through air ducts with ease.

"OK...not taking a shower is not an option for teenage boys!"

'After I found out he was a cop, he just stopped calling. Too bad. I thought this time it might lead to something - other than an arrest.'

You're so lucky, my stripes make me look fat.

'I Keep Thinking it's Somerset.'

'I wonder if anyone will miss me after I'm gone?' 'Would you like to pay your bar tab now?'

"It's been over two weeks, and I'm starting to get concerned. Normally, when the committee jumps down a rabbit hole, they're back in a few hours."

The Ocean's Plug

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'